Longwaybye's comment on the Valedictory Speech
it's always a welcome to see how things are in one's alma mater, where one splurged in idealism, where one wanted to do what is noble and pioneering. if only...this and that. I still havent decided yet up to now, vaccilating between what I would be happy and fulfilled doing, and what the public would want to see as a measure of success- money, abroad, and an american passport.
You see, the pressure of society puts force heavier than what we will admit. It is not uncommon to hear comments about those returning from abroad to a job poorly paid back home as "failure", mahina ang loob, hindi nakayanan ang buhay abroad, foolish and stupid etc.
I was one of those. I endured those labels. I suffered low, low salary, after having tasted the good America. But what they couldnt take away from me, what they will never know, is the happiness I found, and am experiencing, for having chosen a life that was not dictated by society's standards, but a life that was MY CHOICE.
Not of some noble, charitable cause, but a life of doing something I want.
Comment from longwaybye - 02/05/07 7:21 AM
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For 30 odd years I also suffered the same thing, basically..I had to work not out of choice but out of necessity..I had 3 dependents, ( my wife was pregnant with our youngest child ) and we were staying in apartment meant for one. There were six of us there..It was not easy. It was a Crucible meant to distill the best in one's person, a way of separating the dross from the gold.
So 35 years later, here I am. Retired, not very rich but not very poor either. I have so much time in the world and sometimes I do not know what to do with it. Except maintain this Blog for the love of it, do some house work ( render things to Ceasar what belongs to Ceasar or something like that ) do my music...
Then during the odd time of the day, I muse:"What are you still doing here in this foreign land? Why don't you go home back to Asingan?."
Good question.
Am still groping for the right answer.Still sitting on the fence, hoping not to fall like that fricking egghead Humpty-Dumpty!
--Vic
1 comment:
Vic, in your situation, it was the right thing to do. You wouldnt want it the other way, which is doing what you want to the detriment of your dependents.
In my case, it was different. It was a sort of protest against the...insanity of this world. As time went by, it became less of a protest, more of personal truthfulness. In my desire to be true, I endured society's judgment. During those times, there were days I almost gave in and thought yes maybe I was a failure, stupid and a loser.
For all the riches I could have accumulated if I stayed abroad, for the Beemers my contemporaries proudly drive, for their resorts worth millions, for the nice houses and the carribean cruises I too could have easily gotten by virtue of the relatively high wages of my profession, i wouldnt trade the choice I made.
But it wasnt easy. Sometimes I'd hesitate attending reunions because I would be the odd man out: read as poor man out. And while they end the gathering with their SUV's flashing into the night, Id go catch a tricycle and bargain for the fare, since there'd be no more jeepneys plying the route.
Time has proven me right, because in this old age, I couldnt see anymore the value of car, mansion and resorts. What matters is: did I enjoy my life, would I have wanted it the other way? With my coffee and cheap tabaco embering, I can say it was worth it.
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