Rain has many faces...
it can be bright and smiling, especially when the sun shines behind it..
..and it would create a rainbow of many colors..
Sometimes it is naughty, dumping on you when you have no umbrella or coat...
..thus leaving you VERY ANGRY.
Rain can be very dark and brooding, but all in all
it leaves the world, green...Merry...
..and HAPPY!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO
ALL!!!!!!!!!!!
written by Victorio D. Costes
photos by Sue
Christmas with the Farrells
submitted by Deedee
Awwwww!!
Cosy......
Exhausted from opening the presents!
Are there anymore..I am done..!
Daddy enjoys the toy more than Aiden...
Daddy and Aiden monkying around the dinner table
THE 10 PM MASS...
All the four angels ( as Fr. Bob Glynn called them ) were there during the 7:00 pm mass: Caitlin, Kim, Mia and Emma. My 2 other grandchildren were also in the congregation ( Dillon and Chloe ) and two daughters (Michelle & Berna )Berna is the mom of Chloe and Dillon.....After the mass, we all went home to start unwrapping their gifts..at least the ones that were here in our living room. There will be other gifts to unwrap..in their own houses, and in the other grandparents houses..
There was supposed to be another Mass scheduled for them: the 10:00 pm one.. All 4 came back but a few minutes later, Emma told her Mom she was sick and she was brought home.. I was worried. I thought she had the flu. The three remaining "angels" carried on with their beautiful singing in this Mass, then we all went home after the last song which is always JOY TO THE WORLD..
When we got home, I asked for Emma..I found out she was not sick after all..She just wanted to go home so she can continue playing with her cousins...!
Mia, Caitlin and Kim..3rd Christmas Mass together!
This photo is a zoomed shot from the 3rd photo below...
The photo mentioned in the last caption..Used the PAINT software that came with the Windows XP bundle....
COUNT DOWN TO CHRISTMAS
8:00 AM..Woke up, and lo and behold! It is Christmas Eve tonight.All through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse..The last one ate some rat poison a year ago.
In the morning, we went to church for the regular Mass. No Christmas songs yet in this Dec. 24th morning mass because it was the last Sunday of Advent season...While the malls have been playing Christmas music since November, the church was still in waiting for the birth of Baby Jesus..thus no Christmas carols are being sung yet..
Yesterday, we had a choir practice at 10:00 am at church . 2 out of 4 showed up: just Kim and Caitlin..Mia and Emma did not..Reason? Mia was still in Minnesota visiting her Grandma ( Father's side ) and Emma though she loved to come can not because it was Christmas and she still have to do some Christmas shopping..maybe. But I can not give them heck for not showing up.They are are my grandaughters.
But I would not go to a Mall on a Dec. 23..No Christmas is not worth being run over by a mob rushing like a pack of wolves hungry for marked down Christmas sale items.
So went to church at 9:30 am..Sung the advent songs for the last time for 2006..Bye bye Advent songs..see you again next year, maybe end of Nov. 2007. So one mass down, 2 more to go..
12:00 noon..Checked Pang.Org..What else is there to do? Read some good postings. Started to make the line up of Christmas carols for the 7:00 pm Children's mass tonight.. Nerves are kinda shot..Will Santa arrive tonight? Will he bring at least one item from my Xmas list? If he won't I will shoot him with a 22 double gauge when he comes back next year h-h-ho-ing next time Christmas 2007..Just joking! How can you shoot someone who does not exist except in shopping malls listening to Christmas wish lists from kids who still believe in him?Oh well, to each his own...
Took a walk in the Park..The day was not so bad..No rain at least. I walked about in the Humber Valley a few miuntes walk from my house..It is a lovely area with trees with bare branches, a river and park walks still uncovered with snow. Took my cel. Chatted with a good friend while walking about..The park was almost empty. Walked for my regular hiking exercise..Good for the heart you know..I found myself in Weston main street. Entered the bakery there run by a Vietnamese. I walked in the park to shed a few calories.. The calories I lost a few minutes ago came back in form of those mmmm good smelling buns!
5:00 pm..Back in the house..Omigosh..5:00 pm..2 hours away from the Childrens Xmas pageant..Rushed the Christmas song list..Made 1 transparency for the use of the congregation ( a song which we will sing could not be found in the book ). The first ones to arrive was Bernadette my yougest daughter. She is not young anymore. She has 2 kids of her own, Dillon and Chloe..Made a fast change of clothes. I brushed my teeth AFTER I dressed up. A bit of toothpaste fell into my black pants. Cannot afford to change it. Tried washing it with a wet face towel..
6:30 pm..Was at church. Simon brought me there. Only Kim was there..And she was getting antsy. 1 out of 3! And just half an hour to go.15 mins later, Caitlin showed up..She just arrived from downtown Toronto to see WICKED, the popular stage play.
The children pageant went on without a hitch. The mass started with just the 2 of them singing..After the sermon, who would show up but Mia and Emma.. They sang the prepared carols without any hitch..While they sang O HOLY NIGHT, my daughter Michelle recorded their song in her IPod with a special microphone..Geez, the things you can do with that gizmo now a days..Esp. with the 60 Gig one...
I felt emotional while playing O HOLY NIGHT..It was the 25th time for me to play it here in Weston during its Christmas eve mass..
My 2 daughters were there at the pews. 2 grandkids are in there.2 other grandkids were with me in the front singing. Felt emotional playing the song HOLY NIGHT with the 4 belting it out the best way they can considering the circumstances..
After the mass we went home..But we were back there at 9:30 pm to finish off the 3rd mass for the day Dec. 24th..This seldom happens..We did the same songs. We heard the same sermon too..It was the 5th mass for the priests there celebrating the mass and delivering the same sermon..
Everything was over at 11:00 pm..We headed to the house where my family was. The gifts were unwrapped..We usually do the gift opening during Xmas eve..The kids would do another gift unwrapping on Christmas day in their own homes..
Hooray for Santa Claus..He did it again...
Blessed be God for giving us another Christmas day..filled with food, booze, gifts, toys..and most of all LOVE, spelled L-O-V-E..
Merry Xmas every one!!!!!!
SNOW, WHITE SNOW
The moisture and water
In the hills, gullies
And Oceans of the world
float up to the sky like the
Souls being lifted upward
To meet their Maker
The water vapor becomes
A big bank where angels could gather:
the lower clouds may turn dark
and turn into
Rain
The droplets fall back into the ocean
but some would float to the northern hemispheres
Of our green planet where the frigid
Winds would turn the rain into
White, feathery snow
Snow is actually rain
That froze to something soft, cuddly
feathery, and pleasant to the touch
Like tears that dissapear with the
freshness of a smile
Like Rain's...
WRITTEN BY
RAIN AKA SUE
Love Poem for Mark, from Kitty...( written from her death cell)
A DC reader asked me: "How did Kitty write this poem, when she is already dead?"
I answer this way, citing poetic or author's license for manipulating the characters in one's literary work.
In the sequel ( still untitled and unwritten ), Kitty wrote this short poem inside the torture chamber that belonged to Henry, her sadistic husband, the day before she died. Somehow the manuscript was discovered by her sister.
After recuperating from his ordeal at the CN Tower, Mark decided to leave for the Philippines, to follow Kitty's last wish. A few days after his arrival, a revolution started in Manila led by a charismatic leader and Malacaniang was taken over. Mark in the story had to do what he had to do. And he did it in the new scenario ( fictitious of course ) as a grim and bloody revolution started to envelope the country. Now he has to contend with the rebels, Henry's goons and the vicious AFP authorities as he work against time to bring Kitty's 2 kids out of the Philippines..
This is as far as I can tell--for now!
***********************************************
The New Preacher
The new monk was everything an ideal monk would be, except that he gets nervous when it comes to preaching. So one time, the Abbot ( head of the monastery ) told him to be the preacher in the next Sunday Mass..When that Sunday came, he went up the pulpit to face his congregation, his own brothers in the monastery.
As an opener he asked them: "Do you know what I am about to preach about?"
The congregation answered "No" by shaking their heads. So the preacher said: " So do I, I do not know it either..So end of the sermon, lets continue the mass.."
After the Mass the abbot talked with him, "you will deliver the sermon again, okay?" he was a bit angry.
The next Sunday came and again the Preacher asked the congregation. "Do you know what I am about to preach about?"
The congregation this time said YES by nodding their heads.."The preacher said..If you know what I am going to talk about, then there is no need for me to continue talking. End of Sermon.."
This time the abbot was livid with anger and said.."Better do it this time, otherwise I will send you to a place high up the mountains where food is scarce and life is not as easy as this place!.."
Well, the third Sunday came. The preacher, for the third time, asked the same question: " "Do you know what I am about to preach about?"
Well to give him another chance, half of the congregation nodded, and the other half shook their heads..Immediately the preacher said:" Those who know what I am going to talk about please tell it to those who do not know...Sermon is over!"----#
( an anecdote delivered during a sermon in our church )
EMMA
One of her latest photos..
Emma is half Irish, half Filipino..Filipinos ( or Filipinas ) can be quite as talkative as the Irish. So if the speech DNA of one culture is mixed with that of the other, then you got Emma.
Aside from that incident in church regarding a donkey ( which I wrote about in the Discussion Center), another story about her took place one time in front of our front yard. When the stone marker about 19 Dixon's winning of the first prize for Toronto Gardens summer Garden contest arrived, I placed a statuette of this turtle in front of it ( see the photo below )
When she saw it, she took one short look and commented nonchantly: "He is a slow reader!"
**************
Here is the posting:
Date: Monday, December 18, 2006
I wanna share with you an incident at church yesterday. my 7 -year old Grandaughter Emma ( half Irish, half Filipino ) joined us. She is quite witty for her age and she has that Irish gift of the gab..Her vocabulary has also increased by leaps and bounds..Anyway, during the sermon we all sat down. The choir members in front of the organ and I was at the side. Emma was beside me snuggling close. I was hidden beside the massive organ console so only a few people could see me, not even the pastor..So as we sat there waiting for the tedious sermon to end, I saw the manger on the altar..They started to put on it some stuff..There was this plastic donkey at its side..We all could see it especially its behind because it was backing us..Then I whispered to Emma, who was really getting bored already.."Emma, do you know another name for Donkey?"..She thought for a bit, then she whispered (loud enough for the altar servers and the other singers to hear)..."JACK-ASS!"
Burro Schmidt’s Tunnel
The sky was still dark when we got the on the road. The truck headlights seemed to vanish on the asphalt pavement; the reflecting yellow road stripes on Garlock Road was the only evidence of being on track. Bandit and I were heading west on the foothills of El Paso Mountains. Our destination was a little known side trip to Burro Schmidt’s Tunnel. I wanted to get an early start on our day trip in this way we can make it back to Ridgecrest before nightfall. The road was empty and we could see no other headlights over the expanse of Garlock Canyon.
The western sky changed from black to a deep, dark blue as we passed over the eastern ridge of Red Rock Canyon. The barren mountain range came into focus along with the realization of the great expanses of emptiness. We stopped near a Joshua tree, got out of the truck and inhaled the crisp morning high desert air. Behind us some meandering set of headlights could be seen from a distant vehicles traversing highway 14. A brisk breeze brought the scent of salt from the dry lake bed south of us. We watched as the sky changed to lighter hues of blue as the sun approached the summit of El Paso Mountain range. The sunrise had displayed pastels, color changing hues and magnificence-it was truly amazing.
As the road reaches the valley floor, it starts to climb and meander among sagebrushes and lava rocks outcroppings. The road becomes stepper as it approaches the Copper Mountain. A pull-off at the top is worth the time to investigate. A climb up is worth the effort, as it reveals a panoramic view of evaporated lake bed of Garlock and surrounding mountains. Thermal energy from the valley far below will roar up over the saddle that creates the pass. Lava rocks protrude out of the landscape like the knife-like edges of black sword. All around us is a peaceful desolation of awe-inspiring scenery.
The road is now ready to descend into Burro Schmidt’s Tunnel. It winds down quickly to the side of the mountain. The road is always going down until we reached the cabin of the caretaker.
It was way back in 1989 when we first visited Burro Schmidt’s tunnel, a strange passageway burrowed through 2087 feet of solid rock. We were lucky because while we were there we got a chance to meet the caretaker and her helper. Together, they shed the light for me on the story of the tunnel.
According to the caretaker, the tunnel was built as a short-cut. However, she could not explained why Burro Schmidt spent more than 33 years of his life digging, single handedly, through a mountain reach an isolated ridge, over 4000 feet altitude. He used mostly hand tools and explosives in his excavation. Rubble was moved with wheelbarrow and sometimes carried it out on his back. Eventually, Schmidt installed rails for an ore car years later.
Schmidt has tuberculosis, and hoping to improve his health he moved to California desert from Rhode Island, where six of his siblings had died of the disease. The construction of the tunnel had begun in 1902; near the site he had staked a mining claim. Seemingly, his objective was to build a short-cut route through Cooper Mountain for transporting his ore to a smelter on the other side. But it doesn’t seem to be his purpose since the tunnel emerged on the high ledge, in the middle of nowhere.
Bandit and I walked the length of the tunnel, which is structurally sound, within about 30 minutes. And when we reached the end of the tunnel, we find the view from the ledge was breathtaking overlooking the Saltdale lake of Garlock and Garlock road. On clear day, the old mining town of Randsburg can be sighted perhaps 20 miles away just off highway 395.
If you are coming from Los Angeles, the tunnel can be reached perhaps nine miles dirt road that intersects highway 14 north of Red Rock Canyon. The site is now under the control of Bureau of Land Management since the caretaker had passed away years ago.
**************
Photo that came with it is a Metafile meaning " wont reproduce in AOL Blogs.." Don't know why..
Anyways, here is a brief message from the writer:
Hi Manong Vic:
This is from "G", the lost Filipino who is trying to find the treasure of the The Lost Frenchman out in the high desert.
This is for the Manaoaginians, this includes rain and a pinay.
Take care roger "G"
Thanks!..Is Rain from your hometown?..
*****
It is the other way around. I am from HER hometown..Was born in Laoac which was then a barrio of Manaoag, then my family moved to Asingan....
on the poem Last Will and Testament..
This Christmas time I remember the many Christmasses I spent abroad missing home. It is very curious that it takes absence to make us appreciate our hometown.
But it is explainable, how can we miss something that's near? When I was growing up in the barrio, all we were talking was how we could get out and go to the city or abroad, and make ourselves something big.
I guess this life has its way of teaching us how to love. Christians tell us that this life is a passage to the next. Life is all about love. So, missing home when one is away might be one way of life teaching us how to love, in this case our hometown, our culture, where we come from.
It would be really nice if we can travel at the speed of light; then we can be back home, heck we can even live back in the barrio and work abroad.
I wish technology will make leaps regarding this, even not at the speed of light just even like a 2 hour travel between opposite sides of the earth.
That sure is fun. When will that happen? I believe it will, its just a matter of time. -- Longwaybye
*****
We all love to travel..Some travel for work's sake, getting customers, contacts, ideas, etc. I love traveling, especially on a long distance flight where you know that the plane will be landing in the Manila International Airport..The most exciting part is when you see the map on the TV screen showing the map of Luzon and your plane is traveling the north to south aerial corridor of Ilocos-Manila .. The best part of course is looking through the window as the plane passes by Manila and ends up at the Airport in Paraniaque, Rizal, if my bearings are right...
The elation of arriving home is really exhilarating..Then it all goes downhill after a couple of days..It goes uphill again a few days before the return home..In between arrival and departure is a kind of lull and quiet..
But each holiday is never the same as the previous one..I missed writing notes when I am there. Then I find it a hard time trying to recall day to day events upon arriving back in Canada..
I hope I could live a longer time to see Toronto-Manila travel as fast as Asingan-Manila..And at a good ticket rate. Then we could go home every week end and go back to work in Toronto Monday morning. Won't this be cool? ---#
LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT
FOR MY TWO DAUGHTERS
I am of sound mind and body
When I wrote this simple testament
Wherein I bequeath something very precious
To my two beloved daughters
Susan and Susan...
I wonder why your mother named you two as such
And now it is so hard for me to
Identify correctly
To whom I am leaving
What..
But maybe she loved the name Susan soooo much
Because THAT was also her name...
But, both of you are precious to me
Both of you are apples of my eyes
Since I have two and
Both have served and loved me well
In this life
I am leaving you, Susan the first
The house in Dixon street
And to you Susan the second,
the cottage in Orillia
Both the same in equity, both have sentimental
Values to us all...
Who is Susan first, and who is Susan second?
You have to go home back to Pangasinan
I left some papers to a certain Atty. Orallo in Asingan
He will know the purpose of your visit
Which is to know your identities
So you will know, who deserves what..
I also stipulated that both of you should
Stay with my kumpare's house house in
Sitio Binmantay
At least for a month
So you may know where,
How, and wherefore of your
Birth rights and responsibilities
At the end of the month
Atty Orallo will open that envelope
So you will know,
Who is who
Because the person who does not know where he/she came from
Won't ever know the place where he/she is bound for......
Good luck, my darlings..
This is not a joke because I love both of you
And I will be watching you
Every step of the way....
your DAD
ps: I LOVE YOU BOTH FOR ETERNITY....
Her name was Arabella Dolores... ...This kept her Father afloat even if he spent quite a fortune on his wife and two kids. Arabella is the second child. Five years stood between her and her brother Joselito..
"Mark?..No this is not Kitty. This is her younger sister..Kitty's dead, but she left me a message for me to tell you..."
guess it was intentional, wasnt it? to catch whos actually reading... ha ha ha.
but i really love it.
sonny
***
Oooops! That was a boo-boo, happens to scriptwriting..the boss would say.."Change one of the chracters, we will have a sequel.." So sorry, I went back to part 2 and with the help of a little mouse ( not Mickey ) I was able to set things correctly..Yes, there will be a sequel but this wont be in series anymore..It will be one complete work..and it will take me about 6 months to write..and print..Yes printing in Manila is cheaper...And yes, so I can get the right mood and proper settings, I will have to write it in Asingan during an upcoming trip..don't know when...Most of the settings will take place in the Phil. As they say in the Komik Books at one time, ABANGAN ANG SUSUNOD NA KABANATA...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a Woman named Kitty,
the conclusion
It took me a couple of minutes to exit into the Airport road. then headed east so I could reach downtown Toronto. Halfway to downtown, the traffic at first was sparse..I stepped on the gas and went beyond the speed limit, Hoping, just HOPING a police cruiser would follow us and I would stop. Better them than this raving maniac who is getting closer now, bent on chewing my behind. But no police cruiser came to save me. Where is the police when you need them?
"We will take the Spadina exit," I said.."This will bring us to Chinatown..It will be easy to lose him there.."
But when we reached the Spadina exit, I saw that it was closed for renovation.."Shit!" I exclaimed "No police, no exit, I wonder what's gonna be next????"
I kept on on driving until the next exit ..It will take us to Front street..near the SportsDome..All of a sudden, we found that the traffic became so heavy because of a current baseball event. All the sports fans were now leaving the arena.Our car stopped in the middle of the traffic..We looked at the rear window..We could not see the other guy's car. We hoped he did not abandon it, then would walk towards us..
Yes, he did! He was now walking towards us on foot! Walking in-between those cars waiting for the traffic to move..
All of a sudden the traffic started again..Ha-ha! I laughed, ..And he was left behind. Last time I saw him he was pinned on the fence separating the eastward and westward lanes in front of moving cars.....We went down the Front street exit..careening slowly.
Then we reached Front street..And my car stopped..I checked the dials..It was out of gas!
I screamed an expletive..."So sorry Kitty, " I apologized." Was so much in a hurry that I forgot to fill up.Thought I had enough..."
We left our car.. ran a bit, then we ducked at the side of a big building. We wanted to know if the guy was still following us..
He was .. We saw him..scanning the area and the people coming out of the stadium.. The street lights illuminated his features well.."Thats him all right," said Kitty...He was still far from us, but the distance was getting smaller...
There was a long empty alley behind us..We quietly passed through it..not knowingwhat was on the other side...
The area was an open space surrounded by a high fence strung with a barbed wire on top...
Not far from us was the base of the CN tower..One of the highest man made structures in the world.Normally that alley was always closed. Tonight it was opened and we walked into something like a trap!
There is more sense going back to that alley..He MIGHT take it too and we will meet in the middle!
We turned around..We ran to the base of the CN Tower,,
"That is the only place to hide", I said.."but it was already locked", said Kitty..
We reached the lobby. All locked up and the stupid security guard was nowhere to be found..!
"See those metal rungs on its base going up?", I said.."We have to climb it..The rungs would go up to the first level of the Tower..and I know there is a ledge in there, a crawl space..One for each side"..
There are three sides of this tower, and we had to climb the other side opposite the alleyway..So that in case, he reached this area ( and by Murphy's law he might ) through the same alley way we took, and start combing the area, then he would not see us...
So we went around the base, until we saw another set of metal rungs....Then we started our ardous climb..
Kitty started climbing first..I was just a few rungs below her..It was quite easy..the rungs are comfortable to the grip and to the foot... The Toronto ground view kept on becoming smaller..and smaller as we went up."Do not look down, " I said..Kitty kept climbing like an ant. I did not know she also had nerves of steel...Soon we were already very high ..The night view of Toronto was so beautiful. I wished we were inside the tower enjoying the view and not here outside, hanging like bats with no wings....
"How are you?.." I asked Kitty..
"I am okay," she said gasping.." She was already near the crawlspace..It would be enough for both of us to stay until morning..
Then, I happened to look down. I saw a solitary figure in the base, looking about..My heart seemed to stop beating.
Then he looked up. He saw us..My heart resumed beating fast like an Indian war drum..
"Hurry, hurry to the ledge, I implored Kitty..I will meet him .."
No!" she cried..But she continued her climb until she reached that crawl space and then she slid her body inside it..It was a good seat to watch a battle for the finish. Her life would also be hanging in the balance.
I have to meet met the guy. There might be a chance..I will meet him a little bit further down,,and as soon as his hands are next to my foot, I will stamp on it, Maybe his head too. Hopefully, he would fall down to his death,,
I removed my necktie from my shirt, then I also fished out a 2nd neck tie from my coat pocket..I wrapped them together to form one stout "rope", and wrapped one end tight around my wrist,..The other end I tied to one metal rung..The two ties were strong enough to hold me..temporarily if there will be a man-to-man fight...
I prepared for the worse, but then I did not know what was coming next..
Then I saw him take out a something that looked like a gun. It was a gun!
"God" I prayed..For the first time, I felt that our luck started to unravel...
He fired one shot..The bullet, that looked like a small glowing coal, swerved down after a few meters..It was one of those guns, with a very short range.Not good for shooting vertically..It is a custom made pistol especially made for assasins...It is mainly used for close range shooting, ,..The special bullet implodes inside the victims body, smashing all the internal organs..It is 100% guaranteed to give rigor mortis to a living human.
He fired another shot..The bullet hovered closer to me..His range, if not his am, was getting better. I wish I had a rock to crown this bastard's head, I said...I saw him crawling closer...in the faint moonlight his face was getting clearer. Then he fired a third shot. And this time, it hit my leg..
Ah, the pain was undescribable.!!. I was already in effective range..He climbed faster and I know he wanted to save the remaining bullets for a closer shot..to guarantee my death...
Blood started to drip from my leg like a small fountain..The pain started to throb like crazy....There was pain, , despair, ebbing strength..formula for an impending defeat.. Suddenly I lost hope of seeing another day..As he got nearer, I began to get dizzy and my vision became blurry.."I think I am dying," I said to myself..Then I heard a roar in my ears..Don't they say you will hear a roar when death starts to pull your soul out of your body?..I closed my eyes,and I said "God, take my soul!" There was again another gunfire, and blackness covered everything around me.I lost consiousness...
I woke up in a hospital.The lights made me think first I was in heaven..But then I saw a nurse. And a burly looking man whom I found out was a detective of the Toronto Police Department, Aiden O Hara..
He told me what went on after I lost my consciousness..There was a scuffle at the airport and one security person was killed by this guy and he was able to escape from the premises. A small gun was strapped to his skin with a special tape that escaped the metal detector. So he was able to make his way out and then he saw us at the airport lot.
The Police started their manhunt. They acquired a Police Helicopter, but didnt know where to look..Until they heard the gunfire at the CN Tower..Luckily they were nearby when the gunman started shooting at us. It was the roar of the helicopter which I heard..And the last gunfire was a police sniper's that saved my life..
"We found you unconscious there, hanging for your life.." said Detective O'Hara..It seemed your "rope" saved your life after all. Those two guys at the airport have a long list of charges to their name.You lost a lot of blood. Luckily, the bullet just passed through your leg,,Otherwise, the doctors would have amputated your leg...When you feel better, I would like you to tell us more details for our report.."
"Yes, yes.." I said weakly.."Then I felt a onslaught of drowsiness.."Where is Kitty?..Where is Kitty?"Again, I lost conciousness..
Two days later, I woke up, this time feeling much better. There was a sealed envelope on my table.I recognized the handwritng as Kitty's..Her cel phone was there beside the letter..It was charged, ready to use..
The letter said:
"Mark..By the time you read this letter, I will be already home..I suddenly felt a longing to see my two kids again. I miss them.I want to see them again...."
At this point, her handwriting became so uneven..
" I decided to go back..I got a text from Henry.He told me I won't be able to see them anymore..if I do not come back.I am sorry Mark..I had to. Thank you for everything you did for me..Am very grateful for that..You saved my life..I love you even more..but I really have to leave..Forgive me for leaving you alone..I still love you, more than ever..
Kitty
ps.If ever I have some news or if I may need your help again..I will call you. I asked the nurse there to leave my phone near your bed..They were kind enough to do it..Nobody knows its number except me..Will call you, OK?"
My mind went blank for a minute..Then I resumed thinking and so I won't feel depressed I tried focusing my mind on her..on things that happened and on things that could possibly happen..
It was two days later that I was awakened up from a nap with the cel phone's peculiar ring..I seized the phone fast..
"Kitty??? Is this you??" I said with an eager voice.
"Mark?..No this is not Kitty. This is her younger sister..Kitty's dead, but she left me a message for me to tell you..."
END OF A WOMAN NAMED KITTY
this one is called WORMS...
a scan of the painting ( acrylic finger painting )
the framed work
...bird in the bush ..
framed...
close-up, ( scanned )
This is one artwork done on ordinary paper ( it's a pity because it will soon corrode after a decade or so ). She did this I think one time when she was already gr. 1 or 2..But she used a marble instead of brush. She dipped the marble in brown acrylic and she rubbed it back and forth on the piece of paper over a red "bird" she created with one of her fingers ( I suppose it is the fore finger; I used this finger for this purpose ) rubbing it long enough to create an effect. I do not think she was even thinking when she did this. Most art do not involve intellect anyway, it involves FEELINGS and EMOTIONS, tons of 'em. If I did not have the eye for art, it could have been thrased away. I was the one who named it bird in the bush. Then I bought a suitable frame for it.I f you look at it closely, there is really a bird in the bush with a small black dot for an eye!
Most children, if not all of them, are natural born artists. Some paint better than most. And they do it on any surface ( heaven help them if they do it on a living room wall ) . One time Mia used water colours ( light blues and a touch of yellow ) on an unused ceiling tile, one with tiny holes in its surface. It was a divine piece of beauty if ever I did see one..After a year, the colours faded to oblivion. It became another ordinary tile again and I could never ask her to re-create what she had done to that ceiling tile a long time ago.--#
"Ganda ng article ni Mia mana sa lolo"....RAIN
THANKS, RAIN..MUCH APPRECIATED!
oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOO
More on Mia
Mia, in a November 2006 photo
Mia was born on August 11, 1993..She grew up with us in 19 Dixon Road for several years until she and her family moved to Missisauga, then to Brampton.
She was born an "artist"..At 6, she had her first art exhibit in the Social Hall of St. John the Evangelist church. She was able to sell a few prints of her paintings to the visitors of this art exhibit which coincided with a huge church bazaar. Most the orginals are still hanging in our living room here in Dixon Road. Then she went into singing. She became the youngest cantor in St. John leading the congregational singing while I backed her up with the church organ. She also took up ballet lessons. This girl can dance! She is a whiz with the computer and one time, she learned how to edit digital movie clips into a half-hour video school project. What I learned in several days took her only half an hour to master.
It is a joy for us when she and her youngest sister Emma ( another "prodigy" ) would come and visit us here at 19 Dixon.
###########
Peanut Butter
It started off like any other morning for Jake. ‘A bit gloomy for a spring day,’ He thought to himself. ‘Mom’s not downstairs. She must’ve left for work early today with Charlie.’ He got dressed and prepared his lunch of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, as he did the day before and would do the next. He ate the same cereal as he did yesterday: Lucky Charms. Something didn’t seem right to him today. It’s normally the first sign of a bad day ahead. Jake glanced at his watch. 8:26 it revealed. This meant that if he didn’t hurry he’d miss his bus. He ran upstairs to grab his bag.
"Here, Pea." Jake said as he piled some pellets into his tiny hamster’s bowl. Jake rushed off and ran outside. The bus had already left. The worst was yet to come.
That was only the start of Jake’s misfortune. He had left his homework assignment on the kitchen table which gave him detention. During lunch, he realized that the bread he used for his sandwich had gotten moldy, and didn’t have enough money to buy a cafeteria lunch. He ended up buying a chocolate bar instead. Then he realized that he had lost his pencil case in homeroom, and the golden rule of ‘Finders Keepers! Losers Weepers!’ rang in his head. Jake was in a very terrible mood now. It seemed like the weather was just as miserable as he was because it started raining cats and dogs and became foggy pretty quickly. He was indoors for recess yet again. He thought of what he’d do when he got home. His stomach growled from hunger pains. He couldn’t bear skipping a meal. He craved a peanut butter sandwich. This made him think of his hamster Peanut Butter or ‘Pea’ as Jake would call her. He hadn’t paid much attention to her lately because homework had doubled. Peanut’s wheel had broken and hadn’t been replaced yet. The indoor bell rang, but Jake’s mind still wandered around Pea.
‘Peanut Butter has been my pet since the fourth grade. That’s 2 years. Wow. That’s really long for a hamster... well, in my family it is. I’m actually glad she’s a girl hamster now….’ Jake remembered how his father brought Pea home by surprise. Jake thought that she would be the perfect boy and he would be named Super-Ham. His dad told him it was most likely that she was a girl, but they didn’t know for sure. He hoped for a boy but as time went on, he cared less and less about whether Pea was a girl or boy.
‘Peanut Butter could have been Super-Ham. Mom wanted to name her Petunia or Lily. Some sort of flower. Lily would’ve been my name if I were a girl.’ Jake shuddered at the thought, but he kept thinking.
‘I’m glad Peanut Butter’s a girl. I already have two fish that are supposed to be boys. Their names: Fluffy and Waylon. I have my brother Charlie who’s also an untrained male pet. Jeez! I hope pea will be alright without her wheel for one more day. What am I talking about? She’ll be fine! At least I fed her a little this morning. She seemed fine then….’
"Jake are you asleep? Jake, wake up! Get your backpack! You have to go now. Your mom’s waiting for you at the office." Jake’s teacher interrupted. "You have the homework for today I assume?"
Jake didn’t feel like properly answering so he gave her a muffled "Yes’m". He stuffed his backpack with the needed papers and textbooks for home as he wondered why in the world he would have to come home.
‘Is grandmother sick again? Is Charlie hurt? Sick? Did someone die? The fish might’ve. Little Charlie would want a proper burial but that’s no reason to come home from school early.’ Jake still didn’t know why he had to leave as he wandered down the halls, but he was glad he did. He was still really hungry.
‘Maybe some news from dad,’ Jake’s dad was on a business trip, but it was still not a reason.
"Let’s go Jake. I already signed you out." Jake’s mother said to him. She walked him to the car in silence.
"Why am I coming home early?" Jake asked suspiciously.
"Well, I can tell you’ve had a bad day, so I’ll tell you when we get home."
"Just tell me now!" Jake almost yelled. He seemed angry at his mother.
"Later, honey." His mom protested. She looked him in the eyes and could tell he really wanted to know.
"Peanut Butter… died today." His mother said quietly. Jake sat in silence all the way home. He realized that Pea didn’t come out of her tower this morning, and she never would again. --#
Mia is a Gr. 8 student from Brampton, Ont. Aside from writing, she also sings in the choir at St. John the Evangelist church in Weston, Ont.
*****
a homegrown beauty
She walks with beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Whic heaven to gaudy day denies...
One shade the more, one ray the less
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens oe'r her face
Where thoughts srenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place
Lines from SHE WALKS IN BEAUTY ( LORD BYRON )
model: Editha Acierto:
Pampanga.Philippines
CHRISTMAS ANGELS
Christmas Angels at my window
Peering through the pane
The real ones are here all over
It's Christmas time again!
The angels come in kinds and sizes
But each one glows with sheen
For angels are replendent creatures
Though they could not be seen
But they were there when Christ was born
As He lay on the hay,
"Go now and see the pretty baby
Who was born on this day!"
The shepherds then began to walk
While following a star
And with them marched the regal train
Of three who came from afar
When things are dark within our lives
Oh please do not despair
The night will pass and in its place,
A Day so bright, so rare!
--victorio costes ( 12/006)
OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
( PHOTOS ARE TAKEN INSIDE OUR HOUSE
AT 19 DIXON ROAD, TORONTO, CANADA)
a woman named Kitty.... part 3
1..
I picked up the cel with a trembling hand."Hello?" I said.
"Mark, this is Kitty.." Her name was no longer Arabella.
"Hey!!" How are you?..Where are you?"
" I am in the womens washroom of the airport. There are two gorillas in monkey suits outside, watching my every move..Two of the goons hired by Henry to bring me back to Manila.."
"Where did you get your cel?." I asked.
"I have a very tiny cel phone.It is hidden in a secret pocket inside my bra..Its a special gift from a friend I had before"
"Are these guys the ones who abducted you?"
"No" Kitty said.."The two who went to the Hotel just picked me up then they delivered me to these two f...rs!"
"Did they harm you?" "No" she said. "In fact I scratched the face of one and he bled slightly."
That explains the small blood stain.
.
"So these ones with you now haven't seen me yet?"
"No, not yet..Help me, Mark.." Her voice was trembling with fear..
She stopped a bit to calm her nerves then continued.."They are bringing me home to Manila to give me back to Henry. They will be paid handsomely for this..plus free travel expenses.."...
"What time is your flight?"
"We were supposed to leave at 7:00, but it was cancelled..Now we are to take the 10:00 pm..Have three hours ..Then I will never see you again.."
"Please help me, Mark". She started to weep.." Henry will surely kill me. And he does not kill people instantly....First he tortures his victims.And they will agonize to their deaths..I know this .There is a torture chamber below our house.He uses all kinds of drugs on his victims."
My mind began running in circles again... What can I do against these thugs? I do not even have a gun with me..And even if I did..
Then I asked.."What's the name of the airport you are in again?". She answered.."Trudeau International..".
" OK..call me again in exactly 30 mins..OK?.." There was a new ring in my voice.." I will tell you what to do.."
"Yeah? OK"whispered Kitty.
" So remember, be in a washroom again when 30 minutes is almost over, okay?"
"OK"..said Kitty. Her voice was about to break up..
2...
Then I dialed a number."May I talk with Ben please?"I asked the voice on the other line..
Another voice answered " Hello!!"
"Ben!!!!.."Listen!! I have a big favour to ask you.."
When I arrived in Canada my first job was at the Trudeau International. It was known then as Toronto Airport..My first job was an attendant in the parking lot. It was November and the weather was getting brutal but I needed a job very badly. One of my sons in the Philippines was sick at that time.
Two weeks later I met an old friend from the Philippines..That was Ben..He already had a high position in the Airport's Security Department..Noel recommended me to his superiors and I was accepted as probationary without much ado..
I was intelligent, had a good attitude and proper work ethics. After six months of probationary period, I won a permanent position. Plus the love and respect of most of my co-workers.. .My job also demanded a high level of anonimity..plus high stress that came with the position.
So I and some very close friends would usually spend our Saturday nights at the Magic Carpet lounge at a nearby airport Hotel..The hostesses wore flimsy Arabian Nights costumes..But no flying carpets in that joint. No lap dancing either. It was a 5 star Hotel...
After ten years, I resigned because I could not take the stress anymore.I found a job in one of the big corporate offices at Bay street.. The pay is just as high and the stress is just right for my sanity.. I surrendered my gun when I quit plus a signed waiver never to divulged any of the things I saw inside the department.
After 20 minutes of conversation with Ben, I dressed myself like a traveler then drove to the air port.I felt nostalgic when I saw its outline looming in the distance.
Terminal 3 was always packed with travelers ever since 9/11. Security got beefed up anytime a terrorist rumour circulated..Upon arrival, I went straight to Ben's office. Ben immediately brought me to the passenger's departure area, without having to pass through the Immigration.We used a special door. When we reached the departure lounge, Ben told me: "I will be here, Do what you have to do..Good luck!"
Immediately I went into a Men's washroom and waited for Kitty to call me. After 5 minutes, my cel phone rang.
Then we talked carefully and I had to be sure she understood everything I asked her to do.
My final words I said: "Even if you see me outside, pretend not to know me..OK?"
"I will, I will" she said weeping.
3...
I switched off my cel and calmly walked out..I saw Kitty leaving a women's washroom just a few meters away. She went to sit down beside those two atheletic looking men in monkey suits. Kitty was right. They really looked like gorillas...
I approached their seats with a Toronto Star paper in my hand. The minute I sat, Kitty looked at me briefly, then she lowered her eyes again. Her haggard face remained calm. She continued reading her book "Good girl" I said mentally..I continued reading my Toronto Star, but I could not understand any word of it..
Then a voice announced the initial boarding of the first class passengers. Kitty and her two friends remain seated. Stupid Henry, I said silently. Could not even afford a first class ticket for his wife he have not seen for years...
Then the rest of the passengers were called. I also stood up then shuffled my way directly behind Kitty.We were so close that I could smell the perfume in her hair....We inched slowly towards the counter where a last minute check of passports were being done.Airport security have really gone up the roof...My heart continued to beat high, and I tried not to lose my nerves..But it was getting there!
Then it was the two bodyguards' turn to show their passports. One of them turned to Kitty but the personin the counter said:"Wait sir, we'll start with you two first..She slowly examined their passports and while doing so, I noticed her hand went under the counter.I know there was.a button under that desk, Instantly 3 security people appeared from nowhere and surrounded the two. I grabbed Kitty's hand.."Let's go" I whispered..
The mens backs were towards us and in a minute, we were in the hallway..Ben joined us immediately when we turned into a corner and were already out of sight of the security people and the two Asian gorillas...We walked silently in a fast but normal gait....
We stopped in front of another door marked PRIVATE.. Fast as a wink, Ben opened it..Once inside, he said: "Okay, get out of this area as fast as you can using the second exit door you see on your left. This will bring you to the tarmac..From there you proceed to the parking lot..Hurry, and good luck..!!"
Thanks buddy!" I said shaking his hand tightly . He went out through the same door.
It was an empty dimly lit hall way..We started running to the 2nd exit door and then I opened it and peered outside..It was the tarmac, all right. Then we stepped out..Nobody was in sight.
The night air smelled so fresh and there was a faint machinery hum all over the area.The sky was filled with stars. We walked alongside the building until we saw a small door in the fence enclosing the tarmac. It was open! Good man, Ben!" I said..We continued running.I gripped her hand so tightly like I never did before..
We reached the parking lot without any hitch. Found my car, fumbled with the key and soon, we were inside. We were breathing hard like horses after a race as we dropped into the front seat..
"Mark, oh Mark!! We made it" cried Kitty, embracing my neck and kissing me all over my face..
"Thought I would never see you again baby" I said.But back of my mind I knew we were not completely out of the woods yet
"Ben is a good friend of mine..One time, someone in our department tried to sabotage his job, but I testified for him during a hearing. ..He was cleared so he got his old job back. He owed me big time.Now he paid me back. When I told him about you, he rounded up some of our old friends who were working night shift and concocted a plan to hold those guys at leasttemporarily on some false or suspicions. You know, the terrorist issue. At least long enough until we could make a clean getaway.."
"They looked like real terrorists anyway, " she laughed. She planted a kiss squarely on my lips.."I love you more "she said passionately
"But we have to get out of here", I said as I started my car..Then we pulled out of our spot to find the way back to the highway..
But when reached a striped passenger's crossing lane, a man darted in front of us and stared at us on the face.I stopped completely..
"Shit!" exclaimed Kitty.".It is one of them!!!..And he recognized me!!"
I saw his eyes blazed like a tiger. I stepped on the gas and our car sped away. Then I slowed down to see what the hell he was doing...
"He is looking for a car,," said Kitty.
"Now he is bashing the window of one with a rock.." We heard a car alarm sound...
"The bastard is stealing a car!" Kitty screamed..
I braced myself.."Put on your seat belt tight, sweetheart..We are going for a real rough ride!!!." I said as I stepped on the gas pedal---#
to be concluded
I cannot remember how long has it been since I last walked the gray forest of New York City. Today was especially cold; the brisk breeze brought by the arctic wind was invigorating. I walked pass the many street vendors selling from everything to nothing to unsuspecting visitors of the city in this time of the year; and from time to time I stopped to view the splendour of the store windows. My wandering feet took me to middle of Central Park there I saw an empty bench where I parked my exhausted legs. I watched the glee from people’s faces passing by; and from time to time exchanging hellos and goodbyes. I could not help but noticed a couple sitting from a nearby bench; there they were entangled like grape vine to the garden’s lattice. I watched them like I was watching the stars up above during starless night, never missing a single move. The lady could not have been more than 30 years of age and the bloke was probably of the same age. She was so entrenched by him, listening to his animated stories. She was a picture of a woman so deeply infatuated, so much so that I could hear her telling him “I love you” every few minutes. I was waiting for his response and reaction every time she showed him her overflowing affection but not a word of gentleness and passion was ever uttered by him. I continued on to watch them with great sadness; so much so that I felt a tingling pain down inside my chest. Before I knew it, I felt a warm stream of water running down my face, before I could react my vision was cloudy and my throat felt lumpy. I looked down as if I dropped something to avoid the inquiring eyes of the passersby. I wanted to leave as I could not stand the cold weather but I realised the one thing that froze me was the non existing warm reaction of the man.
I do try so greatly to ignore what I see and block the feelings I feel for others, but no matter how ferocious my resistance could be, there I always submerge myself in the pain of others. Could it be the fact that I saw myself in that lady? Where I gave and give so much love and affection but expected nothing in return or seldom do I get it reciprocated. It is hard for me to fathom how callous people can be. How much honesty really is there these days? I love you a simple word yet so powerful. Though it is uttered to me so rarely, I thrive on it with so much joy when I hear it. I could count the scarcity of the word being heaved to me whilst growing up, and whenever I heard it, I leaped and bounced with so much elation. My euphoric state could be felt even in days to come. Smile so endless because of a simple word. Years had gone by; I am now in my thirties. I thought I would have out grown my incessant devotion to the word but here I am still so passionate and still feeling the power of the word that envelopes my whole being. I have suffered pain and aches so greatly from not so distant past, so much so that I was afraid that I have lost my heart to my tormented soul. Yet, as I discovered though anguished with so much misery, there lies the endless love inside my broken heart. Amidst the treachery I have endured from others, the love I feel inside was untouched and flows so freely.
We all want to be loved and devoted to. Say I love you to the one you love today for you may not have a chance to say it then.
--Deedee
December 7th a day which will live in infamy....but you made it a day to be remembered by these lovely people...they may have few months or a year to live...but thank goodness that even for just a short while you imparted some happiness to their stagnant existence. Kudos to you indeed Manong Vic!
Comment from britishempress -
the Senior's Christmas Dinner Night
I arrived at the Senior's home at about 5:00 pm to give me time to set up. I was carrying 3 heavy objects: a portable keyboard, a portable 60 wt sound system and the keyboard stand. Tonight, I am playing for money ( they promised to pay me. ) Well, while I was setting up my gadgets, Jennifer, the Recreations Director came to me and handed me my cheque.
When I started playing the blessed amp. did not work. So I played the Yamaha portable keyboard by itself..the sound was not that loud, and I got quite worried. But after 5 pieces, I heard no complaints, so the show did go on!
I was assigned to the 3rd floor. This is where the terminal cases are confined. The 2nd floor is for better residents than the 3rd, and the first floor is for Seniors who do not or can not maintain their houses anymore because they are sick or tired of maintaining s house. Which is not an easy thing to do, actually..
Each floor have its own dining hall and performing musician this night.
For the next hour or so, I played continuously, playing one Xmas carol after the other: SILVER BELLS, O CHRISTMAS TREE, SILENT NIGHT, O HOLY NIGHT..I do not keep a list or bring out a book to read, I play whatever tune that pops in my head..
Then a staff approached me.There is food for you too! Wowie, another good news I got on top of the envelope Jennifer gave me. She lead me to one of the close tables and I helped myself to a plate of turkey, stuffings, baked potatoes, veggies, fruit juice, coffee and the piece de resistance a slice of cheese cake with heavenly tasting icing..I did not clean my plate..too embarassing..I could have to tell you the truth but then I still have to continue my "mission."
Then I played again, recycling the ones I played already..plus a few ones that I did not. I played beyond the time I was supposed to stop, because some of the residents did not go to their rooms yet..IN FACT, two of them parked their wheel chairs in front of me to listen. The staff wanted to bring them in, but they said "No, not yet.."One of them is a regular customer in my Monday sing along session in the first floor..But good things have to end and the staff have to go home too..They had a hectic time sprucing up the dining hall and cleaning it up after...As one of my avid listener left, she said "see you again Monday Night.." Then I stopped playing. I packed the Yamaha keyboard in its padded bag, strapped it on my shoulder, dragged the Amplifier on its wheels, and carried the keyboard stand ( folded ) with my other hand..Felt so good walking towards home a few blocks away under a starless night .
God bless us all!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
The Rock of Gibraltar
When I was in high school, one of my favorite subjects was history. This class seemed to be in my best interest because of my fascination with pre historic places especially in Europe. I had read plenty of history books at the municipal library during these schooldays. It was exhilarating to gather a lot of information about so many interesting places around the world. But the ones that are appealing to me is Mount Vesuvius in Naples, Italy due to the movie of Pompeii, University of Barcelona since our national hero (Jose Rizal) had attended this institution during his prime and certainly the Rock of Gibraltar, the entry way into the Mediterranean Sea from Atlantic Ocean. Though every time I walked into the library I always scan through these pictures of points of interest-it was occasionally the place where I spent my past time. In fact I always dream to see this places if I have the resources and privilege but it all seems to be hopeless.
One shinning morning in the middle of summer at pier 12 of US Naval Base, Norfolk, Virginia, I witnessed some of the sailor’s wives, children, friends and relatives waving goodbye to their love ones. This might be sad departure for few of us but it doesn’t seem affect me since no one else came by to see me leave. Based on the information I had heard that we will be out of the continental United States for almost eight months but I had been away from my motherland for almost two years so I could care less and I was single.
After the ship departure ceremony, suddenly I heard the dragging of chains on the bulkhead of our ship and after a short while the blowing of boatswain mate whistle signaling the ship was pulling out of the pier fallowed by the announcement of "the ship is underway". One more time on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier I turn around and look back at the shore of eastern Virginia while we were in transit out of Chesapeake Bay. I would have thought of saying goodbye America but I never contemplate on not coming back. Perhaps in one hour of steaming I caught a sight of Chesapeake Bay Bridge and tunnel that links the islands of both Virginias, which is the shortest way to New York City. I perceived the flashing of light on one of the island light tower that signals the ship was out in the open sea.
On the second day we have been pre occupied working on the recovery of our aircraft and the real challenge of using my skill they taught me in Aircraft Maintenance School came into reality. With full enthusiasm, I had the opportunity to work on A-6 Aircraft for almost 16 hours to fix the discrepancy on the fuel system. Out in Atlantic during summer, the night is a bit chilly and through the day it was great like being on the beach of Hawaii.
The routine on the following day had never change but there were plenty of flying sorties aboard the carrier USS John F. Kennedy, often times touch and go. My guesstimate was there were copious amount fuels being consumed with this evolution. And the more discrepancies noted by the aircraft troubleshooters that were added to our workloads, I came to appreciate the development of my skill in Aircraft maintenance in expeditiously fixing higher priorities.
On the fourth day before dusk as I stared into the horizon an Island was sighted. With curiosity I went to the ship library to check the latitude and longitude of our location. It appeared that we were near the vicinity of Azores. With amazing view of the Island within a mile distant, I would have thought a volcano had extended beyond the surface of the ocean. But my interpretation was wrong I believe because for some conviction of many historians, the land mass was the apex of the lost continent Atlantis. I wonder what inhabitants were in the Island then I came to find out they are not Spanish but Portuguese. Nothing is more wonderful than to find smooth harmony in this soaring above the ocean land mass region where at first seems so sedate. From any of the standpoints rare peaks, pinnacles, spires can be seen thrust into the sky and the emerald green colored landscape.
The ship had to anchor out in Rota, Spain on the fifth day for the turned over of command. I never read about this city in the western end of Spain but I went ashore and ponder into the shoreline near NAS Rota for four hours. I never had time to stroll in the city skid row due to time constraint. I made it back to the ship in time for supper.
The next day we got underway heading into Mediterranean Sea. It could be more than two hours of seafaring; the ship was in the passage of the strait of Gibraltar. How vividly my first site of the rock of Gibraltar on the starboard side of the ship comes to mind, I never thought I will never make it this far. My pose was in disbelief then I came close to the Rock for real and no longer a picture. This was my first Mediterranean cruise and I broke down tears with full of elation to see both continents (Africa and Europe) that come to an end near the Rock of Gibraltar.
Enduring the Beauty of Life...pain lies within
So as I closed my eyes finally to go to sleep at 3Am in the morning, my phone rang and it was my mother sobbing like a whimpering raven. I could not understand why she was weeping so horridly. I candidly joked with my mum and asked her what the matter was, as she began to tell me, my doorbell rang. I asked my mum whether I could put her on hold whilst I go and open the door. Of course I was rather astonished to who would be calling me at the door for me at these wee hours in the morning. I opened the door and two uniformed men from the constabulary office were outside my main door. The first thought that came to my mind was..Oh God..something happened to my boyfriend!! I asked calmly but nervously what was it all about that they were calling me upon at this early morning hour. They told me that my mum has phoned them because my mum was worried that I had gone to hurt myself. I was indeed flabbergasted by their statement and wondered what they were speaking about. By this time I have forgotten that my mum was on the phone still waiting for me to return. The two Bobbies told me that my mum received an email from me, "a suicide note." I began to laugh and thought this was a prank that someone is pulling upon me; but they were both stoic and not a smile upon their faces can be traced. So I asked you are serious about this, aren't you? One of the men replied "I am afraid so." I asked for the copy of the note that they spoke about; and there it was, indeed a note in black and white bearing my very name. As examined the message, I took notice of the email address, it was an address of which I have not used actively in the last two years. Now by this time my thoughts were running wildly trying to remember who would have had the cruelty to send such an email to my darling mother. Who has my password to this email address? Who would do such a thing to a poor mother? Alas, it all came to me, the only person who would have known the password to this email was my ex. This is the most cruel and insensitive thing that anyone could have ever done to me. My darling mother went through grueling hours during the night wondering whether her only daughter is alive or not. She was not able to comprehend why her happy daughter was thinking of ending her life and hurting her darling mum as that. Certainly, there is not a reason in this world that shall indeed make me end a beautiful life. I shall take a bullet meant for my boyfriend, my mum or my child but I shant ever think of taking away a precious gift that was given to me. Such thought never have entered my mind even under the worst circumstances I was put under. There is not forgiveness for someone who is selfish enough to end such beauty that was given to them.
Never have I expected that the man whom I have shared my life with would hurt not just me as that but my mum who never once said a negative word about him. We have been apart for so long and I have moved on indeed with my life. I am probably the nicest ex wife out there who asked nothing from him instead gave so much so to ease his pain from our separation. To this day I speak no ill about him. I bother not any of his friends or his family. I often wonder if I were nasty and wee bit bitchy, would the world be kinder to me. More often than not, I find people disliking me for who I am. Just prior to this incident this morning, I have an email frommy ex husband's girlfriend telling me that I have destroyed him. It is what I did that he thinks about. What I did was I finally became honest with my feelings. I have come to the end of the road of the false pretenses that I have subjected myself into living in all those years. I know that I did us both the favour to seek the real happiness that we both deserve. I can no longer placate to people and conform to what is norm to most.
Though I put a facade of not caring about what people think of me, I do ache inside and wonder why exs of my bf and present love of whomever and random people I meet dislike me so much. I am not arrogant nor do I act mightily better than anyone. I always am respectful and cordial to everyone. I do give what is shown to me in the same manner it was handed to me. I appreciate beauty, never have I competed with my fellow women for attention. I never knew the word "catty" until so recently. To my eyes, beauty is an individual trait that cannot be judged through pageantry. That is the very reason why I do abhor beauty pageants. You cannot compare one woman to the next and judge them from their physicality. I rarely get jealous when a woman pays special attention to my boyfriend, in fact I am flattered that not only I can see the beauty that I am attracted to about him but others can see it as well. I do not ask for acceptance nor do I wish to belong to a group or creed; all I ask really is to be regarded like a person, a human being who bears pain when hurt.
To those people who like me, all I ask is for them to treat me like everyone else, not some royalty who needs a pedestal to stand on. I came to this country to be away from such treatment. Why can not I walk in the street and not be noticed? Shall I long for these types of adulations when they are gone? I reckon so, but from time to time I do wish that I shall be like every other girl on the street, someone who can invisibly walk without a single comment from every other bloke passing by. I am appreciative of the physical beauty I was born with, but sometimes I do wonder whether it is the very reason why I do find the difficulty where to belong. There are times when I do suspect that none too many really wants to learn who I am as a person. I feel like I am a show piece that every one gawks at from a store window.
It is a rarity indeed to be so openly descriptive of my feelings; today is one of those days where my pain is just too much to bear that I need to vent out a little of that seething steam that has enveloped my soul these last 24 hours. I am normally a happy go lucky person who cares not about the opinion of others when it comes to my being. It does feel wonderfully rejuvenating to be able to let out what pains me from time to time.
I do have a lot to thank for that is why I complain so rarely about my life. I do have a lovely life indeed with a wonderful man.
re: Seniors' Life
Thanks for sharing the story and pictures, Vic….It reminded me of my mom when she decided to join her best friend and got her own studio apartment in one of the senior resident establishments way back 1994-2000. She enjoyed the company of her fellow seniors. The place had everything from a library to a gym to a barber/beauty shop. Everyone in that home was competent and they seemed happy… they played bingo, exercised together, went to field trips, and yes, there were people like you and your friends who once in a while volunteer to spend time with the seniors entertaining them. I, too, participated in one of their “doll shows”. Everyone there loved Nanay, except for one, who did not like mahjong ( hahahaa)....you see, nanay introduced and taught the game mahjong and sometimes I go there to played mahjong with them...they always had a blast when I make "bunot" and yelled " ladies delight!" and show them the tile " two balls"...everytime I do that, everyone laughs! it never fails.... ( we played with pennies...just like with their weekly bingos). A lot of the seniors there knew me as the “daughter of Esper”.
In 2001, me and my siblings decided to talk her into moving back with us because when her best friend passed away (heart attack), she became lonely and always teary eyed….she told us that when the seniors start to “fade away” or be incompetent, they were sent to the home for the aged, and that every time she heard the sound of the fire truck's siren she gets into this nervous attack that maybe one of her friends is being transported to a hospital ER. She moved in with us and traveled from one place to the other ( Indiana , Canada , Sacramento and Stockton )…she enjoyed traveling and spending time with us, and her “apos” who called her “nanay”. She still visits with her senior friends and they spend a lot of time together as well.
Last June of this year,my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and the doctors’ prognosis was 1-4 months. She asked us if we could take her back to the Philippines, because she wants to spend the rest of her remaining life with my 2 other sisters and her own brother and sisters back home, so we did took her back home…now she is a living proof that her doctors’ prognosis was wrong…she is still gratefully praising the Lord, and very much alive and kicking! ( Thanks to the Almighty Father). I talked to my mom the other night and she says she still communicates with her few "remaining" senior friends. You are absolutely right, Vic, we are all going to pass away...."
Life is not the party we hoped for.. but while we are here, we might as well dance!"-anonymous-
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