THE PHOTOGRAPHER AND THE PRIEST

This anecdote was related to me by my brother in law Manong Lilo and was related to him also by his father,  known known to me as Tata Pili.

Tata Pili was one of the earliest photographers in Asingan. Now a days, digital photography makes use of a totally new array of gadgets: very compact cameras, memory cards instead of expensive films and home printers which are so easy and relatively inexpensive to use in your den or basement.. No more darkrooms or bad smelling chemicals that would stink up your clothes or blacken your fingernails.

But during those days, even the 35 mm cameras were still unknown in Asingan. The professional photographers used heavy clunkers of cameras that needed those wooden tripods similar to the ones used by land surveyors for their surveying equipment. After setting the camera ( sometimes called Arriflex or Speed Graflex , who knows now; you can only see these things now in flea markets or in museums ) on a tripod, they used a big black sheet to cover it, then the letratista would peer into the back of the camera on a translucent glass ( a viewer) to check the focus and position of what he is shooting. Sometimes the image is upside down. All these adjustments he did under the black sheet to give him a bright image of his subject whether it is a wedding party or a stiff snuggled comfortably in a coffin. The story took place after a funeral mass done in one of the churches in Asingan.

So everybody was outside watching the photographer do his thing. Setting up his paraphernalia sometimes took several minutes. After setting up the focus and position of the camera the next step to do would be to insert the film pack. It is a black thin box, light proof but containing a single sheet of 5" by 7" raw film. The black box is then inserted in the back of the camera right where the viewer is. Then carefully not to disturb the setting of the camera and the tripod, he would carefully remove a panel of the film box which is now inside the camera. The film is now ready to expose. Then he would click the shutter of the lens which opened just a few seconds. Thats it. Next, he would go under the sheet again to cover the film box. He keeps the film box in a safe place, disassemble the camera set up so he can accompany the funeral party to the cemetery for the last shots. But the story took place in front of the church. The camera was there covered with the black sheet and a few feet away was the coffin and the stiff on its way for his last trip to the cemetery.

The actual story started when tata Pili left his camera ( it was set up already ) to get something. A minute afterwards, the priest came out of the church saw the camera and curiosity got hold of him. During those days the priests were wearing these long black albs that flowed past their knees. These were of the same color as the sheet covering the camera. Anyway the priest wanted to see whats under the black sheet. He lifted it peered inside and like a photographer he covered himself with it. The camera cover blended perfectly with the priestly garment. It was a hot, humid afternoon and wearing those garments seem to be quite a "sacrifice" for the clergy then.

All of a sudden, Tata Pili rushed back to his work. He was in a real hurry and he did not notice that somebody else was under the camera sheet. Without thinking he just pulled up the black sheet in front of him. Surprise, surprise! He saw a naked ass bent slightly forward. Tata Pili almost fell to the ground. And the priest, after feeling a slight draft uncovered his head from the camera sheet, put down his alb, looked around at a few smiling faces then he rushed away and made a beeline to his convent as fast as you can say "Holy Buttocks!"

Manong Lilo really got a kick relating this anecdote. It is one of his funniest yet. He said.."Well you can't blame anybody there..My father was on the rush. The weather was so hot that afternoon. I guess thats the reason why the priest did not use his underwear at that time. But the sacristans and some neighbours said they heard the priest screaming bullshit and puneta for several hours afterwards."----#