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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Story of Two Kings ( Not a Christmas Story )

Long before the tricycle drivers took over the streets of Asingan, the King of the Road was the Kutsero and his Karomata. This quaint rig was also known as a calesa. Its a kind of horse-and-buggy and Asingenios at that time used this transportation to go to the market , or to the riverside ( The Agno Chico River ) to wash clothes on Saturdays. Or to do some errands that need transport like buying a piglet, vegetables or go to social events at night ( like barrio dances, wedding affairs ) and what have you..The calesa did not make a hell's-a-poppin noise like those tricycles do or they do not dare go into the McArthur highway posing a threat to the fast going motor vehicles there..As one song by Sylvia la Torre said, "it is the ride of lovers..Just close the curtains and you have the privacy to do certain amenities.." Which was nice.

In Asingan I remember two "kings"..I call them such because they are the most popular cocheros in town. One was Marcelo Abobo and the other is an old man from Macalong. I do not know his real name, but townspeople just call him DURODOR. I will tell you the meaning of the word as soon as we get into his bio.

Marcelo or Selong is a short, pleasant faced, always smiling chap with mascular built.Thus local bums would not dare rip him off with money otherwise they might lose a few teeth in exchange for a few nickels and dimes. Won't be a fair trade.  Conversing with him was a very plesant experience and if you are not careful, soon you might spill your innermost secrets. Which could be dangerous too. But he is a simple minded, hard working guy who loved his horse since he earns his bread and butter. He always bought grass for him on the way home after a days work. You would see bundles of grass on the roadside for sale at that time. A young kid who liked to have some pocket money would gather the grass in the field for he know that sooner or later, it will be bought by kutseros who wont have time to pick them. Thus horses do not need gas or oil, they subsist on TLC -Tender love and care - plus some rice bran and molasses every now and then.

During those days, women seldom if ever wear jeans. It is a no-no. Mothers and grandmothers would give heck to their daughters for using the pants in public.."You look lie a boy!" or some other reasons which by today's standards would sound very asinine. So girls then wear skirts. I heard an anecdote about Selong. As a pretty girl rides on his carromata, the story goes, thats the time he checks the horse left leg for some bruises. Passengers always step on a contraption on the right side of the so she/he can ascend the carromata.This contraption is quite high from the ground. The women's skirts would really be raised as they step up into the rig.So our friend Selong would hit 2 birds with one stone at that instant: the condition of the horse left leg and the color of the passenger's underpants.

The other kutsero is DURODOR..He got this name because one time, while he was transporting an impatient passenger, his horse was not going any faster than expected. He whacked him with a horsewhip, yet the poor beast could not go any faster..Maybe he was already as old as his master. So the irate passenger said in a loud voice: "Durodoremon!" Just one Ilocano word but the English translation is quite long. It means:"Stick your whip handle up his ass!" From that time on he was known more by that name.

The old guy had an ongoing love affair with the bottle. At the middle of the day, he was already rosy pink and smelling like a chico fruit.. He sang sometimes as he went on his way, so who needs a radio? One time, the story goes, he drank too much that he just laid down on the floor of his rig, singing as loud as ever. But his horse, they say has more sense than his master. He would start walking and would bring home: rig, drunken master and all when it is time to go home at twillight!.

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