submitted by Arsenio Macanas
It is a part of our Asingan culture and it’s a Pilipino way… keeping grudges too long. This do not surprise me at all. A good example comes from our leaders: the politicians. Some were one time best friends, but because of the JEALOUSY and the differences of opinion they fight for they ceased to be friends. No solution could put them back together… the grudges between these two fellows would live from one generation to the next. Their families would inherit it. Can they solve this problem? I don’t think so! Unless one of them will give up and swallow some pride.
Reminds me of a Filipino joke that said, "Pride chicken". I tried to figure out the joke. How come the word pride is being used in "Fried Chicken"? Did you get it? They said it, because there is no "F" in our Pilipino alphabet. Okay! How about this joke! "Hey! Pool (instead of Paul)" You might be pool into the swimming pool.Hmmm...
How about the Filipino analogy "The CRAB MENTALITY!" What do you think, buddy? Aren’t you like that? Wow! I can’t imagine that I found out about this word from others, not only from Americans but from other ethnic groups too, here in the US. It’s too shameful and disgraceful. Some idiotic kababayans fried themselves using their own fat or grease.
Self-opinionated, Crab mentality it’s a feeling of grudging admiration and desire to have something possessed by another, called "ENVY"
I grew up in Cabingcolan and most of the people in Asingan called our place "small tondo." I missed the sound of birds chirping and tweeting on the trees lining the road. Late in the afternoon most of the men in our area were busy "nipping" from a small carrrenderia /bar ‘til they realized it’s getting late while they still kept on drinking. Some of them heading home to nuzzle with their families, still got tied up ( again ) in some street corner. These guys could not stop socializing. Sometimes he got more nips from other friends drinking on street corners or in front yards. The wife and the kids were waiting for him for dinner…By the time he got home, the good dinner became an affray. I felt compassion to all the women who had bad experiences from their husbands. I remember some of our neighbors… They quarrel at night the next day the wife would have a black "make-up" around one eye, sometime both eyes.
"How dare you Mister! That’s not the way to make-up your wife!."
One time I got involved in a small fight… just to be nice,I went to the middle, grabbed and held one guy to break the action. After the fight, the one I grabbed started to hate me. He was my friend. He thought that I was favoring the other guy because I grabbed and held him. He then threatened me and I had to watch my back for a long time because I might get stabbed, or shot, or something else.
What a friend huh? And what a place Cabingcolan is...
1 comment:
Your essay contains what Ive been trying to change,in my own little ways, in the Filipino culture, and in MYSELF.
Envy, jealousy...they are inherent in humans, and animals. I doubt if it can be expunged. Maybe in the future, when we can safely vaporize those parts in our brain mediating those emotions.
Envy isnt all that bad. Its serves a purpose, esp. if one subscribes to the idea that all things in this world have been made, or evolutioned for that matter, with a purpose.
Like all things, it can have its bad effects too.
Envy is here. It is a reality. Like greed, and bragging, it's a common, universal phenomenon. Its no use trying to eliminate it, let people including us have their envy, greed, and hot air.
It only becomes problematic when it steps on the rights of others. So if somebody brags he is the most desirable woman or man in this world, let him be. Thats freedom.
If my friend Doods feels envy because his friend has an Aston Martin, parked in a big, real big residence in Bolinao, let him be, and let him strive to earn more to one-up his friend.
Let me be if I want to be supreme. I have every right to it.
However, if he compromises others in that quest of satiating his envy, he must pay, he must be stopped.
How do we do that? The LAW will, it does, for time immemorial. Truth, justice, fairness....these are the principles in law that will protect us from oversteping envy.
There is no true forgiveness without justice. Just as there is no mercy without penance.
That is why my cousin, an overly good man, even in his old age, looks still for justice against his friend who betrayed him. It is not that he didnt enjoy life, because he did, its just that he would be miserable seeing justice was not served, and thus for justice, and for the good of this world, if only for an example, he seekd justice, until he dies.....
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