AN OUTING WITH THE KIDS....

So we went to this steakhouse named ( surprise!) Le Bifteque which is French for something. It was Michelle's birthday party. It is along Dixon road ( close to our house ) and their steak is tender. Feels like it is melting in your mouth. I recommend this place for tourists to Toronto. It is a classy restaurant with very affordable prices.

JOKES

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request. A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a Jazz chord ! Play a jazz chord!".

Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's varied career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes.

When he finishes the whole place goes wild.

The little old man jumps up again and shouts "No, no, play a Jazz chord, play a Jazz chord".

A bit p*ssed off by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise.

The little old man jumps up again. "No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play a jazz chord".

Well and truly p*ssed off that this little guy doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability. Stevie says to him from the stage "OK smart a*se.

You

get up here and do it!"

The little old man climbs up onto the stage, takes hold of the mike and starts to sing .....

" A jazz chord to say I ruv you..."

*****************

An American tourist goes on a trip to China.

While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: "I've got bad news for you - you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it." The man looks a little perplexed and says: "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc."

The doctor answers: "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis."

The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion."

The doctor replies: "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice."

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease."

The guy says to the doctor: "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs:

"Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make mo money that way. No need to opelate!"

Oh, Thank God!", the man replies.

"Yes", says the Chinese doctor,"You no wolly! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself!"

****************

A DAY IN TORONTO

It was the second day of school, and some University students from Toronto went into a crazy sort of parade around Yonge and Dundas street ( the busiest intersection in the city )in the afternoon of Tuesday, September 6..All were dressed in yellow T-Shirts, wearing hard hats, some painted their faces and upper torsos with purple dye looking like zombies. They marched quickly. One minute they were there, next minute they were gone!A police car passed by quietly, but no altercations of any sort... 

 

From there, I went to the Toronto City Hall and continued taking photos. Check them out!

ASINGAN THE WHAT?

I was chatting with a couple of Asinganian ladies who came to Toronto for a short break. They own a store in Poblacion Asingan and they complained about the new Kings of the Road-the tricycle drivers. She said the drivers seem to have a license not only to drive their noisy vehicles anytime at night but also to scatter garbage anywhere they park.You know, cigarette butts, snack wrappers and a few they say would even piss just right there on the wall of the store..Thus the store owners sometimes would wash out the piss puddles with a bucket of water just to remove the smell.In most cases, it takes more than one bucket to fix the problem..

*****

Property owners also complain that due to the absence of public toilets, adults would just let their children defecate anywhere, the nearest spot so the kid concerned won't soil his/her knickers. An Asinganian  wondered one day about a familiar smell in her premises. She could not see any kind of shit lying around. So she tried the bushes. Eureka! Under some plants is a big pile of the stuff. And it seems it had been used regularly..No I dont think the tricycle owners did it. They are not small enough to creep under the bushes to do that kind of thing.

&&&&&

The last time I was in Asingan, I went crazy hearing the bells. The Catholic church is in the middle of a big tract of land.Besides their bells give out a solemn mellow tone. But the Independent church uses an acetylene tank as a bell ( who would think of this asinine idea?) It gives such an irritating sound that when it's campanero start ringing it, all the dogs in the block would start howling and wont stop until the blessed bell stop its pealing. There is freedom of religion, all right, but there should also be freedom from noise at 5:00 am in the morning when everybody in the neighbourhood deserve additional minutes of sleep.

 

*******

A VISIT FROM LITO DOMAOAN

Angelito Domaoan (or Lito) paid me a visit in Toronto last Labour Day week end. A long time buddy, I mentioned him earlier in the Vic Costes webpage in Pangasinan.org(check Memories of Asingan). He and his party ( Glen, his son, Dia and Eva his 2 sisters ) came to Toronto to visit their aunt, Mrs. Helena Samilin. Lito is now in Jersey City.

So there was this all day party in the Samilin residence and George ( Helena's son ) had fun(!) picking up ( and bringing back ) the guests (including us ).Thanks to George, all's well that ends well. The food was excellent..George has a good singing voice. His Karaoke system is awesome!

Visitors included Remedios Lopez Agpaoa, sister Letty Lopez Salvador, Jenny Isaac Fernando, her husband Lito Fernando and her son Raffy Fernando a.k.a. RF..Thanks to RF too for picking up Miguelita, my wife at the Kipling Kiss and Ride area.

DIARY OF A TRAVELING G.I.

 PART I – THE BALKAN NATION

by Igoy Zaid

Decades ago, when dictator Marshall Broz Tito of Yugoslavia passed away his legacy of communism also died a natural death. What followed was the subsequent secession of most of the States that comprised this once unified Balkan nation. Among them: Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, and most recently, Kosovo. This leaves Serbia and tiny Montenegro as the only ones that make up what is Yugoslavia today.

This once integrated multi-ethnic nation that remained united for so many years under the late strongman was plunged into chaos. Nationalistic fervor stirred in the hearts of every Serb, Croat, Bosnian, Macedonian, and Albanian. Shortly thereafter, it became the powder keg in Europe raising apprehensions of another World War. Thanks to the United Nations (UN) and the allies of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO), the ugly civil wars that ensued was put to a halt. The peace pact inked by the warring factions is so fragile that, to this day, NATO peacekeepers still patrol the borders of most of these breakaway States as the situation is still volatile.

Of the States that broke away, only the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia (FYROM) managed to dodge a bloody war to win its independence. To avert any adventurous incursions by the dominant Serb-Yugoslav Armed Forces, the country had lobbied the UN into passing a resolution thereby paving the way for the sending of peacekeeping troops into its land.

It is with this backdrop that I was deployed to this Balkan nation in March 1997, as a member of the United Nations Preventive Deployment (UNPREDEP) force under the United States battalion. There were other contingent battalions from other countries as well serving under UNPREDEP like the Norwegian, Finnish, Danes and Indonesians who, like the US, have their own respective commanders and sectors to patrol. The whole operational mission was under the overall command of a UN commander.

Like most central European nations, FYROM is a landlocked country bordered by Kosovo on the north, Greece on the south, Bulgaria on the east and Albania on the west. The capital, Skopje, has been the site of many prestigious international chess competitions. Aside from its famous ruin of ancient temples and castle; the country basically is dotted with steep mountains where the land is mostly rolling. It is bitingly cold during winter and hot and humid during summer. The country is called FYROM and not plainly Macedonia in deference to her Greek neighbor who has a province bearing the same name. Despite its relatively peaceful transition into a sovereign State, this nation of sparsely over 2 million has its own serious internal problems to deal with. Foremost among which, is the one posed by its minority ethnic Albanian population who like the predominant ethnic Albanian-Kosovars, were demanding absolute autonomy in their educational system and a greater representation in the government bureaucracy. These demand; naturally, were met with antagonism from the Macedonian populace. These same issues would later plunge the country into chaos and a short-lived civil war. UN and NATO-led mediation efforts recently paved the way for the signing of a truce between the warring factions. Like the rest of the secessionist States, NATO peacekeeping forces are the ones keeping the fragile peace hold between the feuding parties.

The hostilities and ethnic unrest that wracked this tiny nation was nowhere evident back in1997. Being deployed there was like a holiday. During off duty days, we are given weekend passes to enjoy the amenities of downtown Skopje. We got introduced to a potent beer called Skopsko whose alcohol content would pale in comparison to what we’ve been used to drinking. A typical weekend day for us is shopping at the mall, eating exotic foods at restaurants and topping it all off, a swing to a jazz or R&B bar. Oh yes, they play classic as well as modern songs. If you are the romantic or historical-loving type, there’s the ruin of an ancient castle that sits right in the middle of the city waiting to be explored. Located atop a hill, you need a 15-20 minute trek uphill to get close to this olden fortress that was once home to Greek and Byzantine kings and warriors. The whole Skopje is a sight to behold once you are at the highest peak of the castle. Incredibly, dungeons are preserved and still visible to this day. You see crumbled guard towers or whatever was left of it dot its four corners, all strategically placed enabling guards at that time to see those coming from below as well as beyond. Rumors had it that plans are afoot to restore whatever is left of this historical piece of landmark, which when completed would certainly be a come-on attraction for tourists in years to come.

The population is a mixture of predominant Macedonians who speak Serb, which bears strong resemblance to Russians. The rest are ethnic Albanians, Turks and a handful of gypsies. Most of the adult population does not speak English. Surprisingly, there is not a dull moment when you’re in the city. For example, if one loves jewelry and rugs, the place to be is in the Turkish side of the city. Oh yes, folks, what a portion of Turkish population they got! It’s like being in the markets of Istanbul: the cobblestones lining the walkway, the clustered shops manned by tea-drinking vendors, and the familiar warm smile that greets every shop visitor. The place is littered with stores with a wide array of dazzling jewelries and beguiling carpets. A few of the shop owners speak broken English, but oddly enough, they speak German fluently. A simple knowledge of basic German is to your advantage as one gets a better deal. But nothing compares if you have a little knowledge of the local language, as this offers you the best deal ever. Additionally paying in Deutchmarks instead of the local currency gives you added purchasing power.

For the adventurous, fun-loving thrill-seeking single individual, a trip to the discotheque house is worth its try. Unlike the ones we’ve known back at home, disco houses here are relatively small and cramped. You are literally rubbing elbows with the crowd both on the dance floor and the bar as well. Local women are gorgeous and gregarious while the men are uncompromising and possessive. One must be careful in introducing oneself to a gal without first ascertaining if she is unescorted or not lest, you’re risking a black eye or two.

If one is not in a shopping mood, you can always pamper your palate by eating. Restaurants offer an array of American, European and local cuisine. Have a little drink of wine or Skopsko, whichever is your preference, and enjoy a banter or two with some of the friendly patrons around. It will cost you roughly twenty dollars to enjoy the night out. Hotel? I cannot share any information on this one since we have our own - the Military Post back at the camp. Seriously, you would probably spend in the vicinity of between 15-20 dollars a night on a decent hotel room.

For sun-loving beach-going souls, there is Lake Ohrid about 100 kilometers outside Skopje. Just a 10-minute taxi ride outside the city of Ohrid, the pristine waters of the beach is great for swimming and jet skiing. The fine sand beaches are ideal for sunbathing too. Don’t be surprised if you find a number of women with their tops off basking in the glory of the sun. This is a common every day encounter. Beach houses are available for rent at modest prices if one is planning to stay for a couple of days. Makeshift bars line the beach to serve one’s need either for thirst or hunger. When not in the beach you can busy yourself visiting the medieval monastery at the top of a hill. Overlooking the city itself, it is said that medieval monks from thousand of years ago flocked this place. Ancient warriors loyal to conquering kings later overran it. You can also troop to the middle of the city square where an ancient tree, said to be dating back to pre-biblical times, stands to this day. The tree splits in the middle and points away in opposite directions. Accordingly, a bolt of lightning caused the split. The inside of both halves of the tree appears burnt yet green leaves still grow from the few branches dangling from it. It’s awe in sight to behold.

Six months seem like a longtime to be in an area you haven’t known before, especially for a deployed soldier who is away from loved ones and from the comforts of home. Back then, we were the few ones sent downrange that were authorized liberty passes on off duty days due to the relatively peaceful condition pervading at that time. The little fun that we had was more than enough to forget the boredom and stress that comes along with being deployed. Nowadays, peacekeepers still patrol the borders of FYROM but the rules have changed. Liberty passes are no longer issued. The handicap of not being able to go out nevertheless, translates into lots of dollars saved that would otherwise have gone to splurges into local economy. Personally, the wealth of experience gained from knowing the culture of this proud people and meeting new friends, plus the excitement of seeing a lot of beautiful places is more than a trade-off with the few hundreds of dollars that I spent.

For the civilian tourist wanting to experience a touch of medieval Europe, this is one country you must include in your itinerary. If you are the type that wants to see lots of great places but little money to spend, this is the place to be. Before you make any reservations though, check with the U.S. State Department officials first if travel restrictions are in place or not. Happy traveling!

Next stop, I’ll take you to a glimpse of medieval and modern Germany.--#

 

LAUGH AND THE WORLD LAUGHS WITH YOU...(daily joke section)

Super Market mistake

This guy is in line at the Super Market when he notices a hot blonde

behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.



He is stunned that such a hottie would be waving to him, and although

familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "sorry do
you know me?"



She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of

one of my children!"



His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful,

"Christ!" he says "are you that stripper at my bachelor party that I had
on the pool table in front of all my friends, while your partner whipped
me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my ass?"



"No" she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher"

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